Ah, Girl Scout Cookie season. That magical time of year when adorable scouts wielding clipboards and unwavering eye contact lure you into buying “just one box”—which, let’s be real, turns into a pantry full of sugar bombs before you know it. But hey, it’s for a good cause, right?
If you’ve ever wondered exactly how much sugar, fat, and sodium you’re shoving into your face with each crunchy, chocolaty, peanut-buttery bite, you’re in luck! Here’s the breakdown of what’s actually inside your beloved Girl Scout Cookies. Spoiler alert: You probably shouldn’t replace your kale smoothie with a sleeve of Thin Mints (but no judgment if you do).
Adventurefuls: The Fancy Newcomers
Serving Size: 2 cookies
Calories: 120
Total Fat: 6g
Total Sugars: 9g
Sodium: 80mg
Protein: 1g
With a name like “Adventurefuls,” you’d think these cookies would transport you to a land of health and wellness. Nope. These “indulgent brownie-inspired” cookies pack caramel crème and a “hint of sea salt,” because apparently, plain brownies weren’t indulgent enough. They’re on the lower end calorie-wise, so you can delude yourself into thinking it’s fine to eat an extra one. Or five.
Caramel Chocolate Chip: The Almost-Healthy Ones
Serving Size: 3 cookies
Calories: 160
Total Fat: 7g
Total Sugars: 11g
Sodium: 95mg
Protein: 3g
These gluten-free, vegan-friendly cookies actually have three whole grams of protein—which is practically the same as a protein bar, right? If you ignore the sugar and sodium, you can almost convince yourself you’re making a responsible snack choice.
Do-si-dos: The Peanut Butter Protein Powerhouses
Serving Size: 3 cookies
Calories: 160
Total Fat: 7g
Total Sugars: 11g
Sodium: 100mg
Protein: 3g
With their hearty peanut butter filling, Do-si-dos (also known as Peanut Butter Sandwiches) contain a respectable amount of protein. So, if you need a post-workout snack and don’t mind your “gains” coming with a sugar chaser, these might just be your best bet.
Girl Scout S’mores: The Soon-to-Be Extinct Treats
Serving Size: 2 cookies
Calories: 150
Total Fat: 7g
Total Sugars: 10g
Sodium: 110mg
Protein: 2g
Bad news: These bad boys are being discontinued after 2025. Good news: You can panic-buy them now and freeze them for eternity. They also have one of the highest sodium contents on the list, so enjoy that bloated, regret-filled feeling after devouring half a box.
Lemonades & Lemon-Ups: The Citrusy Disappointments
Serving Size: 2 cookies
Calories: 140–150
Total Fat: 6–7g
Total Sugars: 7–9g
Sodium: 70–100mg
Protein: 1g
Some people love them. Some people wonder why they’re wasting precious cookie consumption on anything that isn’t chocolate. One redeeming factor? Lemonades are vegan. But let’s be honest—no one is eating these for health reasons.
Samoas: The Gooey Coconut Legends
Serving Size: 2 cookies
Calories: 150
Total Fat: 8g
Total Sugars: 11g
Sodium: 60mg
Protein: 1g
The queens of caramel, coconut, and chocolate. You either hoard them like a dragon protecting its gold, or you don’t like coconut (and therefore can’t be trusted). Pro tip: Freeze them for peak deliciousness. Just don’t think about the sugar content while inhaling an entire box.
Tagalongs: The Peanut Butter-Loaded Delight
Serving Size: 2 cookies
Calories: 140
Total Fat: 8g
Total Sugars: 8g
Sodium: 80mg
Protein: 3g
Tagalongs (or Peanut Butter Patties, if you’re fancy) are the perfect combination of chocolate and peanut butter. They also have one of the highest protein counts—so technically, this is just meal prep. Right? RIGHT?
Thin Mints: The OG
Serving Size: 4 cookies
Calories: 160
Total Fat: 7g
Total Sugars: 10g
Sodium: 120mg
Protein: 2g
The gold standard of Girl Scout Cookies. They’re vegan, which means they’re practically a health food, and they contain peppermint oil, which totally counts as a digestive aid. That means they cancel themselves out, right? If only science worked that way.
Toast-Yay!: The French Toast Wannabes
Serving Size: 2 cookies
Calories: 150
Total Fat: 6g
Total Sugars: 11g
Sodium: 95mg
Protein: 1g
For all those mornings when you want French toast but don’t want to go through the effort of making it, there’s Toast-Yay! Sadly, they’re leaving us by the end of the year, so grab them while you still can.
Toffee-tastic: The Gluten-Free Underdogs
Serving Size: 2 cookies
Calories: 140
Total Fat: 7g
Total Sugars: 7g
Sodium: 90mg
Protein: Less than 1g
Gluten-free folks, this is your moment. These buttery, toffee-flecked cookies may not have much protein, but at least you can pretend they’re the “healthier” option compared to their gluten-packed counterparts.
Trefoils: The Humble Shortbreads
Serving Size: 5 cookies
Calories: 160
Total Fat: 7g
Total Sugars: 7g
Sodium: 100mg
Protein: 2g
Ah, Trefoils. The cookie equivalent of that one reliable friend who’s always on time but never the life of the party. Solid. Dependable. A bit boring. But hey, if you dunk them in milk, you can at least pretend they’re exciting.
Final Thoughts
Are Girl Scout Cookies healthy? Absolutely not. Are they delicious? Undeniably. Should you feel bad about indulging? Of course not—life is short, and these cookies only come around once a year. Just remember: moderation is key, unless you’re on your third box of Thin Mints… in which case, who am I to judge?