Look, I get it. The idea of voluntarily sweating in a room full of strangers might sound about as appealing as attending a silent meditation retreat with your ex. But bathhouses are back, baby, and they’re not just for old Russian men arguing about the proper way to make borscht. They’re trendy, they’re Instagrammable, and they might actually be good for you.
So let’s break it down: why are people flocking to bathhouses like influencers to an oat milk pop-up? Should you be ditching your gym’s overpriced sauna for a more communal sweat session? And most importantly—how can you enjoy it without making a total fool of yourself? Let’s dive in.
What the Hell Is a Bathhouse, Anyway?
For the uninitiated, a bathhouse is essentially a steam-filled paradise where people gather to sweat, soak, and (hopefully) not make direct eye contact while half-naked. Unlike your bougie spa that charges $300 for a lavender-infused bubble bath, bathhouses are communal, affordable, and sometimes even a little gritty (but in a cool, vintage way).
These steamy sanctuaries have been around forever—think ancient Rome, Ottoman hammams, Russian banyas, and Japanese sentos. Back in the day, they were more of a necessity than a luxury. You know, because indoor plumbing wasn’t exactly a thing. Today, they’re all about relaxation, rejuvenation, and proving to yourself that you can survive a five-minute plunge into water colder than your last situationship.
The Celebs Are Doing It, So It Must Be Cool
You know bathhouses have truly made a comeback when Hollywood’s finest start raving about them. Case in point: Jamie Dornan of Fifty Shades of Grey fame recently recounted his bathhouse experience, saying he felt "used and abused"—and loved every second of it. If even Christian Grey thinks getting smacked with sauna whisks is a good time, who are we to argue?
Meanwhile, Chicago Bath House has an actual celebrity wall of fame, proving that actors, musicians, and athletes all love a good schvitz. Plus, bathhouses have been popping up in TV shows and movies left and right, like Challengers, Industry, and Nobody Wants This. Basically, if you want to live your best glamorous-yet-sweaty life, this is the way to do it.
Is It Actually Good for You, or Just an Excuse to Avoid Your Responsibilities?
Good news: your newfound obsession with steamy self-care isn’t just a fun way to procrastinate—it actually has some real health benefits.
1. Your Circulatory System Will Thank You
Dr. Michael Fredericson from Stanford University says that warm water immersion can increase blood flow, lower blood pressure, and generally make you feel like a more hydrated human being. If sitting in a tub for 20 minutes can do that, who even needs cardio?
2. Your Anxiety Might (Temporarily) Shut Up
Turns out, being enveloped in warm water is scientifically proven to reduce stress. One study found that people felt less tense, angry, and depressed after a soak—so if your boss has been making you question your life choices, maybe it’s time to swap your sad desk lunch for a midday steam session.
3. You Might Even Make a Friend (or at Least Some Awkward Small Talk)
Bathhouses aren’t just about detoxing your body—they’re also about connecting. And while I’m not saying you should strike up a deep convo with the guy in the speedo next to you, there is something oddly comforting about the shared experience of sweating out your collective bad decisions.
But Wait—Are There Risks?
Of course, it’s not all relaxation and post-schvitz bliss. Here are a few things to keep in mind before you go full steam ahead:
Heat Stroke Is Real – Don’t be a hero. If you start feeling woozy, take a break. Nobody wants to be that person who has to be carried out mid-sauna.
Bathhouses Are Not a Good Place to Have the Flu – If you’re sick, stay home. This isn’t a test of endurance; nobody wants your germs in their relaxation zone.
Funky Fungi Are a Thing – Hot, humid environments can be a breeding ground for bacteria. Just, you know…wear your flip-flops.
Bathhouse Etiquette (aka How to Not Be Annoying)
Before you run off to your nearest bathhouse, let’s talk about how to behave so you don’t get the look from seasoned schvitzers.
🚫 Don’t Get Sloppy Drunk – A beer or two? Fine. Stumbling around the sauna like it’s your bachelorette party? Not cool.
💧 Stay Hydrated – Dehydration is the enemy. Water is your best friend. Act accordingly.
⏳ Don’t Hog the Sauna – Yes, we get it, you love the heat. But this isn’t your private chamber—share the space, and don’t camp out for eternity.
📱 Ditch the Phone – Nobody came here to listen to your FaceTime conversation or watch you take sweaty selfies. Be present.
So, Should You Take the Plunge?
If you love the idea of emerging from a steam-filled oasis feeling like a rejuvenated marshmallow, then yes. If the thought of public sweating makes you want to crawl into a hole, maybe stick to your at-home bath bomb routine.
But let’s be real—life is stressful. If something as simple as a soak, a schvitz, and a little communal sweating can make things feel a little less terrible, why not give it a shot? Worst case scenario, you’ll have a hilarious story to tell. Best case? You’ll leave feeling like a slightly healthier, slightly more hydrated version of yourself. And really, isn’t that all we can ask for these days?
Now go forth and sweat, my friends. The steam awaits.