Ah, winter: the season of snowflakes, holiday cheer, and the unrelenting misery of runny noses, hacking coughs, and the constant fear that your coworker’s “allergies” are actually something much more sinister.
But have you ever wondered if your city is actively conspiring against your immune system? According to a new report from the Leighton School of Nursing at Marian University, some U.S. cities are basically viral playgrounds, where colds, flu, and other respiratory nasties thrive like an unchecked toddler in a ball pit.
The 10 Cities Where You’re Most Likely to Spend Winter in a Tissue Fort
Based on an extensive study that considered factors like population density (AKA breathing in your neighbor’s germs on public transit), air quality (or lack thereof), vaccination rates (because some of y’all still won’t get a flu shot), and access to nutritious food (which shockingly isn’t found in a gas station hot dog), the following cities are apparently the epicenters of seasonal suffering:
Bakersfield, California (71.74) – Where the air quality is as questionable as your aunt’s essential oil cure for the flu.
McAllen, Texas (70.85) – If the humidity doesn’t get you, the germ-ridden schoolkids will.
El Paso, Texas (69.71) – You can’t outrun a virus, even if you escape into the desert.
Philadelphia (69.18) – The City of Brotherly Love is also the city of shared viral loads.
Las Vegas (64.79) – What happens in Vegas definitely doesn’t stay in Vegas when it’s a cold.
Fresno, California (62.42) – The only thing more persistent than the Central Valley’s smog is your scratchy throat.
Detroit (62.27) – Where even your immune system is bracing for impact.
Chicago (60.97) – The Windy City ensures that no germ stays in one place for too long.
Ogden, Utah (60.70) – Come for the skiing, stay for the sinus infections.
Riverside, California (59.84) – The city where even the oranges can’t keep your immune system afloat.
But Wait—There’s More (Germy) Fun!
Now, before you pack up and move to some undisclosed bunker in the mountains, let’s take a step back. This report isn’t exactly the final word in scientific research—it’s more of a “Hey, this is kind of interesting, but don’t panic” kind of deal. Even the researchers admit they didn’t consult medical professionals, but rather crunched some numbers and made some educated guesses.
And speaking of medical professionals, Dr. William Schaffner from Vanderbilt University weighed in, basically confirming that, yes, all these factors can increase your chances of getting sick—but they don’t guarantee it. So if you live in one of these cities, you’re not necessarily doomed to a winter of NyQuil-fueled misery. Just... probably.
So, How Do You Avoid Becoming a Walking Germ Factory?
If you, like the rest of us, don’t enjoy feeling like a human snot faucet, here are some helpful tips that may or may not require actually making an effort:
Get Vaccinated – Look, flu shots, COVID boosters, and RSV vaccines exist for a reason. If you’re still debating whether to get them, just know that your unvaccinated immune system is basically an open bar for viruses.
Wash Your Hands – And not just a quick rinse. Scrub those mitts like you just chopped up a pound of garlic and you have a first date in five minutes.
Avoid Sick People – Easier said than done when you’re stuck on a crowded train next to someone sneezing like an exorcism is in progress.
Wear a Mask – They’re not just for pandemics! If you’re high-risk or just want to avoid spending a week cursing your existence, masking up in crowded spaces isn’t the worst idea.
Don’t Be That Person – If you’re sick, stay home. Seriously. No one at the office wants your “it’s just a cold” germs.
Final Thoughts: Is Your City Out to Get You?
Look, no city is truly safe from the common cold. Viruses don’t respect city limits, and unless you plan to live out your days in a hermetically sealed bubble, you’re going to get sick at some point. But if you live in one of the cities on this list, maybe—just maybe—you should stock up on tissues, vitamin C, and the sheer willpower to survive another cold season.
Good luck out there. And for the love of all things holy, cover your mouth when you sneeze.