Ah, December birthdays — the double-edged sword of festivity and forgetfulness. The month itself is an extravagant carnival of twinkling lights, last-minute shopping, endless carols, and, oh yeah, your birthday. Somewhere in between Aunt Linda’s annual fruitcake fiasco and the office White Elephant exchange, you’re supposed to feel special. Spoiler: You probably won’t. Because, let’s face it, having a December birthday is basically the participation trophy of birthdays.
“This is for Your Birthday and Christmas”
Let’s start with the gifts. If you have a December birthday, you’ve heard it more times than Mariah Carey’s All I Want for Christmas Is You: “This is for your birthday and Christmas.” Nothing says “You’re not that important” like a two-for-one deal on celebrating your existence. It’s as if the laws of physics change in December and people are physically incapable of wrapping two separate gifts. If your birthday is in May, does anyone say, “Here’s your birthday-Memorial Day combo gift!”? Didn’t think so.
Also, let’s talk about the quality of these gifts. While your summer-born friends get shiny new gadgets or trendy clothes, your gifts scream, “I grabbed this while panic-shopping at the mall.” A Bath & Body Works candle? Gee, thanks, I can’t wait to smell like Winter Wonderland while crying into my leftover fruitcake.
“Oh No, I Totally Forgot Your Birthday!”
December birthdays have a special way of making people forget you even exist. Everyone is so busy decking their halls, roasting chestnuts, and panic-buying overpriced toys for their kids that your birthday becomes an afterthought. Aunt Mary “accidentally” sends you a Christmas card with no mention of your big day. Friends who normally organize elaborate birthday dinners suddenly remember they’re “too busy with holiday plans.” Sure, Chad, but you weren’t too busy to post a photo of your dog wearing a Santa hat.
And for those of you born between December 24th and 26th? Forget it. You might as well declare yourself a Capricorn martyr because the holidays have officially swallowed your birthday whole. There’s a reason your therapist nods sympathetically when you say, “They would forget my birthday entirely.”
The “Happy Birthday, Jesus” Problem
If your birthday lands on or near Christmas, you’ve probably heard the joke: “You share a birthday with Jesus! How special!” Yeah, no. Sharing your birthday with the son of God is the ultimate upstaging. While he gets a full choir, nativity reenactments, and actual frankincense and myrrh, you’re lucky if you get a stale cupcake and a quick rendition of “Happy Birthday” before people rush off to Midnight Mass.
Oh, and let’s not forget that your birthday parties were likely canceled or poorly attended because everyone else had holiday plans. “Sorry I couldn’t make it to your party,” your classmates would say in January, “my family was skiing in Aspen.” Cool, Madison, I’ll be sure to invite you to my Fourth of July/Back-to-School combo party next year.
The Bright Side? It’s... Festive?
Let’s begrudgingly admit that December birthdays aren’t all doom and gloom. For one, the world really does feel magical during the holiday season. You don’t have to spend money on decorations because the entire planet is already draped in glitter and fairy lights. There’s seasonal music to set the mood (even if Jingle Bells drowns out “Happy Birthday”), and an abundance of holiday cookies ensures you’ll never run out of snacks.
Some December babies even manage to embrace the chaos. As adults, they’ve learned to channel their inner Buddy the Elf and lean into the festive spirit. “It’s nice to have family around,” they say, conveniently forgetting that the family “around” is mostly there for Christmas. But hey, if you’re lucky, someone might show up to your birthday dinner wearing an ugly Christmas sweater. Festive!
Tips for Surviving (and Thriving) with a December Birthday
If you’re tired of being the forgotten, gift-combo’d, overshadowed December baby, here’s a snarky little survival guide to reclaim your birthday:
Declare Your Own Birthday Month: No one owns the calendar, so why not move your birthday to a less crowded time? Tell your friends and family you’ll be celebrating in June — call it your “half-birthday extravaganza.” Bonus: Outdoor parties and guaranteed better attendance.
Gift Rules, Enforced: Make it crystal clear: “Separate gifts, or you’re out of the will.” A little dramatic? Maybe. Effective? Absolutely.
Make It Impossible to Forget: Start reminding people about your birthday on November 1st. Text them countdown updates, post reminders on social media, and hire a skywriter if you have to. Subtlety is for people born in March.
Throw a Festive Bash (That’s All About YOU): Lean into the holiday vibe but with a twist. Christmas-themed birthday parties can actually be fun, as long as everyone knows it’s YOUR party. Think: “Happy Birthday to Me” cake, tacky holiday décor, and spiked eggnog aplenty.
Skip the Holidays Altogether: Feeling bold? Take a vacation during your birthday week. Nothing says “I refuse to be ignored” like celebrating on a tropical beach while everyone else is shoveling snow.
Reclaim the Narrative: Own the fact that having a December birthday makes you part of an elite, resilient club. Sure, you’ve been overshadowed your whole life, but that just means you’ve developed a wicked sense of humor and a healthy skepticism about the whole “holiday cheer” thing.
Final Thoughts: It’s Your Day, Damn It!
Look, having a December birthday isn’t the worst thing in the world (that honor goes to people born on February 29th). But let’s not pretend it doesn’t come with its challenges. The important thing is to remind the people around you — and yourself — that your birthday matters. Whether you celebrate it in December or stage a coup and move it to summer, you deserve to feel special.
So here’s to all the December babies out there. May your cake never be fruitcake, your gifts never come with a “combo” excuse, and your birthday parties always overshadow the holidays. You’ve earned it.