Ah, November. The month where your Halloween sugar rush collides with your Thanksgiving stress level. When daylight disappears at 5 p.m., and your refrigerator becomes a ticking time bomb of questionable leftovers and terrifying Tupperware experiments. Lucky for you, I've got the ultimate guide to keep your sanity somewhat intact through this whirlwind of a month. We’re talking holiday decorations in early November, Stress Awareness Day coping hacks, and maybe, just maybe, finding peace with that relative who thinks cranberry sauce should wiggle.
Let’s dive into this survival guide with just the right dose of sarcasm, a splash of holiday spirit, and a hefty sprinkle of reality checks.
Step 1: Stress Awareness Day – How to Feel Calm When Everything’s Falling Apart
First things first, it’s Stress Awareness Day. That’s right – there’s an entire day dedicated to pointing out that yes, you’re stressed, and yes, it’s normal to be a little unhinged this time of year. National Stress Awareness Day falls on November 6th, a convenient reminder just after Halloween has left you with a mini existential crisis from all those Reese’s. Experts suggest drinking water, eating your carrots, and deep breathing, but hey, you probably already know that.
Instead, here’s what we’re doing:
Hope-Scrolling, Not Doom-Scrolling: Fill your social media with more puppies, fewer political arguments. This is the month to unfollow anyone with holiday opinions that clash with yours – consider it a mental cleanse.
Stress-Friendly Exercise: We know, we know, exercise is “good for you,” but getting to the gym in November feels harder than a New Year’s resolution. Instead, go for a brisk walk and pretend you’re a leaf casually blown around by life’s chaos. It’s surprisingly therapeutic.
The Art of the Eye Roll: Seriously, perfect this move. When you start feeling stressed, roll your eyes so far back they practically cross into the new year. It’s both satisfying and an effective way to get out of a conversation. Give it a try at Thanksgiving dinner.
Step 2: Bring Out the Holiday Decorations Before it All Goes South
Now, let’s address the holiday elephant in the room: decorations. Some say it’s “too soon” to put up holiday lights on November 1st. Others (the wise ones) argue that as soon as the pumpkin pie is carved, it’s fair game. And guess what? Science is on your side, friend. Experts have found that decorating early boosts mood – yes, we’re advocating for early cheer.
Why Decorating Early Is Practically a Mental Health Boost:
Ambient Joy: Every time you glance at your pre-lit tree or those twinkling lights, a tiny part of your soul sighs in relief. It’s like telling the stress demons, “Not today!”
Holiday Playlist Therapy: We’re talking “Jingle Bells” on repeat. It might annoy your neighbors, but who cares? It's like self-care, but with carols.
Preemptive Spirit: November is the calm before the storm, so embrace it by watching Home Alone for the 53rd time and pretending everything is cozy and nice before the real holiday drama hits.
Step 3: “Fall Back” in Time – or at Least Try to Without Losing Your Mind
November 3rd brings us the gift of Daylight Saving Time, where we “gain” an hour. But let’s be real: all that does is throw off your sleep schedule for weeks. Here’s how to cope with this time-travel nonsense:
Use the Extra Hour Wisely: Instead of wasting your extra hour overthinking life decisions, why not spend it binge-watching comfort shows? They say to use it for sleep, but The Great British Bake Off won’t watch itself.
The Clock Conundrum: Let’s just accept now that you’ll spend at least a week wondering if every clock in your house is wrong. And yes, your oven will finally get updated – until March when it’s wrong again.
Light Therapy Lamps Are Your Friend: Shorter days mean the sun sets practically at lunchtime. Invest in a light therapy lamp or strategically position yourself near a sunny window like the wilted plant you are.
Step 4: Clean Out the Fridge Like It’s Your Life’s Purpose (National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day – Nov. 15)
That one turkey leg from last Thanksgiving isn’t going to make space for the new one on its own, folks. November 15th is National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day, a very real holiday to remind you that there’s probably a container of something vaguely green and fuzzy hiding back there.
Face the Science Experiment: If it has been there longer than you remember, it’s gone. Accept it, toss it, and try not to think about the life forms you’ve been hosting.
Thanksgiving Prep Space: You need room for pies, sides, and probably 25 pounds of turkey. Clean now so you can thank yourself later.
Step 5: Avoid Thanksgiving Drama Like a Pro
Thanksgiving is the place where love and loathing often meet. Here’s how to sidestep the inevitable minefield:
Prep Your Conversation Escape Routes: Have a few non-controversial subjects in mind. “Pass the stuffing” and “Have you tried the cranberry sauce?” are two solid options.
Designate a Vent Buddy: Find that one cousin who’s equally fed up and share knowing glances when the conversation turns political.
The Art of the “Phone Call”: Need a breather? Pretend to take a call from someone in a different time zone. Works like a charm every time.
Step 6: Safety First – Don’t Let Your Turkey Feast Send You to the ER
Thanksgiving is all fun and games until someone loses a finger. Here’s how to avoid injury while attempting to carve a rock-hard bird with that dull knife you swore you’d sharpen last year.
Sharpen Your Knives: Please, just do it. Otherwise, that turkey will win.
Slow and Steady: We get it, you’re hungry. But nobody wants to spend Thanksgiving in the ER explaining how they accidentally turned their hand into a stuffing pocket.
Step 7: Embrace Bladder Health Awareness Month – Seriously
November is also Bladder Health Awareness Month, and while no one asked for a PSA on this, let’s talk about it anyway.
- Limit Caffeine and Booze: You’re going to want to stay hydrated without annoying your bladder. Plus, drinking water now will give you the energy to deal with Thanksgiving.
Step 8: Family Health History Month – Time to Dig Deep
November’s family gatherings are the perfect excuse to ask about more than just Grandma’s pumpkin pie recipe.
Learn the Family Health Mysteries: If everyone over 60 in your family has had high blood pressure, maybe it’s time to think beyond the mashed potatoes.
Consider It Preventative Health: Knowledge is power, and knowing Uncle Joe’s penchant for heart disease might get you on the treadmill in December. Or at least help you reconsider that fourth slice of pie.
Step 9: Make a Vegan Swap for World Vegan Month (Even if You Love Cheese)
Not saying you have to go full tofu, but maybe try one vegan meal for World Vegan Month. Your digestive system will thank you, and who knows – you might even like it.
- Try a Vegan Dish: Think cashew-cream Alfredo, or a hearty vegan chili. You can always sneak some cheese in if things get desperate.
Step 10: Assemble Your “Sick Day Kit” Like a Survivalist
Colds, flu, and the annual mystery cough are coming. Stock up on essentials before the sniffles hit.
- Hot Drinks, Soup, and Snacks: Sure, a thermometer is practical, but so is having the right snacks and a stack of feel-good movies. This is your time to lounge in sweats and watch as much Gilmore Girls as possible.
Bonus: Indulge in Cranberries and Holiday Travel Plans with Minimal Stress
To cap it off, consider cranberries your November health MVP and plan for holiday travel without the stress.
Cranberries are In: Get your vitamins C, E, and K, plus antioxidants. Perfect excuse to make cranberry cocktails for Thanksgiving.
Travel Smart: Avoid the peak days if possible, and consider that flying on Thanksgiving Day isn’t the end of the world – you might actually avoid the crowds.
Final Thoughts
November can be rough, but with these strategies, you might just make it through without pulling a holiday Grinch. Embrace the chaos, find the humor, and deck those halls with abandon. Because come December, you’ll be ready to start this whole madness all over again.
The Cozy Issue Volume 7