Welcome to November, the month where you get to “fall back” an hour in the most bittersweet time of the year. Yes, you’ll love the extra sleep, but say goodbye to those precious post-5 p.m. sunsets! If you’re the kind of person who thinks putting up Christmas lights on November 1st is normal, or that cranberry sauce counts as a vegetable, then buckle up. There’s a lot to prepare for, including family squabbles, the voting booth, and possibly even a bladder check-up. Yep, it’s a month that has it all. Here’s your snarky, survivalist guide to enjoying (or surviving) the chaos of November.
⏰ First Up: “Fall Back” Without Falling Apart
November 3rd: the day that supposedly blesses us with an “extra hour of sleep” but more likely curses you with a chaotic internal clock. Of course, your pets, toddlers, and that one digital clock you can never remember how to reset don’t care about daylight saving time.
Let’s be real; nobody’s bouncing out of bed with a spring in their step after the clocks change. To survive this daylight robbery, try these life-saving tips:
- Plan Ahead: Set your clock back the night before. Yes, this requires effort, but at least you won’t wake up panicked on Monday morning wondering why your alarm clock hates you.
- Vitamin D: Get some sunlight—yes, even if it’s the weak November kind. Your body needs it, and trust us, so does your mood. Seasonal depression loves this time of year, and you don’t want to give it an open invitation.
- Sleep Hygiene: No, it’s not another weird TikTok trend. Sleep hygiene means you try to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day. Boring? Yes. Worth it? Also yes, especially if you want to wake up feeling somewhat alive.
🍂 Thanksgiving Drama? Oh, We’ve Got That Covered
Nothing says “family holiday” like sitting around a table with relatives who still think it’s 2012. Here’s your step-by-step plan to survive Thanksgiving dinner without losing your sanity:
- Avoid Politics Like the Plague: We know, we know—how can you avoid it when everyone’s ready to give a State of the Union address over the stuffing? Stick to safer topics like weather, sports, or the latest episode of whatever Netflix show everyone’s pretending not to have already binged.
- Change the Subject with Tact: Got an aunt who’s itching to launch into a monologue about conspiracy theories? Steer the conversation towards a less inflammatory subject, like how well (or poorly) she did on Wordle today.
- Have a Safe Word: Find an ally, usually a sibling or a cousin, and agree on a code word that means “We need to evacuate.” This silent cry for help will allow you to make a graceful exit when the conversation takes a turn for the worse.
🦃 Keep Your Hands—and Ego—Intact While Cooking
Thanksgiving is like a high-stakes game show where the contestants risk both their sanity and their fingers. But before you reach for the turkey, remember: carving accidents are a thing. Here’s how to avoid a holiday trip to the ER:
- Sharpen Your Knives: No, it’s not just a chef’s ego thing. A sharp knife means you’re less likely to accidentally slice off part of your hand along with the turkey.
- Slow Down, Gordon Ramsay: Thanksgiving is not the day to channel your inner Iron Chef. Take it easy in the kitchen. The turkey isn’t going anywhere.
- Have a Plan B for Sides: Just in case you discover last-minute that you did, in fact, burn the potatoes, keep a frozen or pre-made side dish on standby. Better safe than sorry!
🍲 Try Kimchi! Because Why Not?
November 22 is National Kimchi Day, which means it’s time to add a little (or a lot) of spice to your life. You may think kimchi and Thanksgiving go together about as well as toothpaste and orange juice, but trust us: it’s worth trying. Plus, it’s good for your gut, and your gut will need all the help it can get after Thanksgiving. So why not give it a go?
Kimchi Quick Tips:
- Try it on a grilled cheese for a little kick.
- Add it to your stir-fry, salad bowl, or anything else that could use a boost of flavor and probiotics.
- Tell your guests it’s “fermented cabbage.” That’s usually enough to keep the unadventurous at bay.
🚽 Respect the Bladder: Bladder Health Awareness Month is Here!
Do you know how important your bladder is? Most people don’t until they realize how much caffeine they’re consuming in November. But bladder health is no joke, so give it some love this month:
- Stay Hydrated: Seems counterintuitive if you’re trying to avoid bathroom runs, but water is key to avoiding infections.
- Watch the Caffeine: Easier said than done when you’re trying to keep up with the madness of holiday planning, but your bladder will thank you if you swap that afternoon coffee for some herbal tea every now and then.
🎄 Deck the Halls—No, Really, Go For It
It’s time to unleash your inner Clark Griswold and put up those holiday lights! Forget waiting until after Thanksgiving. November 1st is the new December 1st for holiday cheer, so grab the garlands and don’t look back. According to mental health experts, the early festivities can actually improve your mood. After all, nothing says joy like untangling last year’s holiday lights, right?
🍒 Eat: Cranberries (Yes, Seriously)
November is the month for cranberries, but not the jiggly, suspiciously tube-shaped stuff. Real cranberries have actual health benefits, like reducing the risk of UTIs and supporting heart health. Here’s how to add some cranberries to your life without feeling like you’re just reliving Thanksgiving leftovers:
- Oatmeal Topping: A handful of dried cranberries on top of your oatmeal is both festive and good for you.
- Cranberry Sauce Upgrade: Go for homemade chutney. It’s tangy, it’s flavorful, and it’s way better than the canned stuff.
🗳️ The Power of Voting: Because Your Mental Health Needs It
Yes, it’s voting season, and yes, the mere thought of it probably brings a headache. But believe it or not, voting can actually be good for your mental health. Experts say it’s empowering to feel like you have a say in the matters that affect your life. So hit the voting booth, drop your ballot, and take a victory lap because you’re exercising your civic duty and giving yourself a mental boost.
🥬 November’s Challenge: Embrace the Vegan
November is World Vegan Month, so this is your chance to swap the heavy cream and beef stew for plant-based goodness—just don’t expect it to be easy. A vegan fettuccine Alfredo made with cashews may not sound like the holiday comfort food you crave, but it’s worth a shot. And if that’s a bit too much, you could try just one vegan dish on your Thanksgiving table. Hey, baby steps.
🛫 Holiday Travel Hacks You’ll Need
Holiday travel has a way of stripping the last remnants of your patience. But with a little planning, you can avoid the worst of it. Here’s your cheat sheet:
- Fly on Thanksgiving: It’s not glamorous, but it’s often cheaper and less crowded than the day before.
- Avoid Peak Travel Times: Road-tripping on Wednesday? Good luck. If you can, drive early in the morning or after 6 p.m. to avoid the most rage-inducing traffic.
And that’s your survival guide to November! Remember, this month is all about staying calm, rolling with the punches, and not letting minor inconveniences get in the way of your holiday joy. Whether you’re surviving the turkey-induced food coma, the voting booth, or just another family holiday, follow this guide, and you’ll emerge in December with sanity (mostly) intact.