Election Day anxiety? It’s almost as inevitable as, well, Election Day itself. With Kamala Harris and Donald Trump going head-to-head, the stakes feel sky-high, and so does the blood pressure of half the country. Every four years, Americans seem to collectively forget how to breathe around the first Tuesday in November. But this time, we’re prepared with a survival kit that includes golf, a slow-cooked roast, and – because it’s 2024, after all – a little THC.
Forget the calls for unity and the PSA’s about voter turnout. Election Day 2024 has Americans prepped with meditation apps, a pile of snacks, and the kinds of plans that, if we’re being honest, sound like they’re designed to endure a weeklong thunderstorm rather than a democratic event. Here’s a rundown of what voters are doing to keep their sanity while America decides who’s going to get the keys to the White House.
1. Golf, or, as it’s Now Known: "The Great Escape"
First up, let’s talk about the purest Election Day coping mechanism: hitting the golf course. There’s something about whacking a little white ball down an endless fairway that has appealed to high-stress people since, well, forever. For one voter in his 80s, golf is the answer to Election Day jitters. He’ll be spending November 5 on the links, far from exit polls and news alerts.
Golf has always been the sport of choice for people who want to pretend that nothing else in the world exists – except, maybe, their scorecard. It’s essentially four hours of peaceful oblivion with a bit of walking. The only danger? Glancing at your phone in the cart only to find that Florida’s results are coming in.
2. Cooking a Roast and Playing It Cool
Then there’s the group that’s taken refuge in food – specifically, a roast. Now, we’re not talking about any roast; it’s a slow-cooked roast, which means hours of preparation and, presumably, the smell of dinner distracting you from every mention of “polling stations” and “swing states.” One woman shared her plan to spend Election Day safely at home with a roast in the oven and her vote already cast. She’s done her part, now it’s time to let the world burn (or, ideally, just simmer on low).
There’s something delightfully ironic about choosing Election Day to do the most time-intensive cooking possible. You’ve got to respect anyone who responds to political chaos with a three-course meal. Just don’t burn it if things start looking dicey – there’s no sense in ruining a good dinner over results you can’t control.
3. Supportive Friends, Snacks, and a Little THC
Ah, the classic trifecta: friends, snacks, and a “little THC.” Diane, in her early 70s, has cracked the code. Her Election Day plan involves “speaking with supportive friends and a little THC.” And honestly, isn’t this the ultimate recipe for surviving any nerve-wracking event?
A little THC – just enough to take the edge off and maybe laugh through the more absurd Election Day coverage. Pair that with friends who won’t send you a barrage of “Did you hear what happened in Wisconsin?” texts, and you’ve got yourself a solid Election Day strategy.
And let’s be real, THC might be the unspoken MVP of 2024. Between heated political ads and doomsday headlines, America could probably use a little collective chill.
4. Quiet Time, Boundaries, and News Limits
Then, there are the conscientious objectors to the news cycle. These are the people who have been through the 24/7 cable news wringer one too many times. This year, they’re taking a stand: news boundaries, fewer articles, and minimal TV channels. Sue, for example, plans to surround herself only with people who share her political views. Let’s call it the “echo chamber strategy,” but without the judgment.
Meanwhile, others are on what psychologists call a “news diet.” They’re tuning out the cacophony, setting a mental Do Not Disturb on their brains. If Election Day TV channels are a menu, these folks are going straight for the dessert and skipping the entree – which in this case is endless, stress-inducing talking heads.
5. “I Voted, Now Leave Me Alone”
Then there’s Joyce, a 79-year-old who’s watching with caution – but she’s ready to switch channels at the first sight of a campaign ad. It’s as if the “I Voted” sticker should come with a subtitle: “I did my civic duty, now please, please let me watch TV in peace.” Joyce is part of a growing group who’s voting by mail, keeping things safe, and making Election Day a viewing event with boundaries.
This time, however, people aren’t just considering skipping the news for fun – they’re doing it for survival. Between political ad fatigue and friends with “opposing” views, it’s like everyone’s looking for ways to experience Election Day with as few nerve endings exposed as possible.
Coping Tips from the Election Anxiety All-Stars
After reading through dozens of coping strategies, here’s what it boils down to. We’ve boiled it down into the most efficient tips for making it through Election Day without feeling like you’re a contestant on a high-stakes game show.
1. Set News Boundaries Like a Pro
The pros recommend limiting news to intervals that don’t leave you refreshing your phone every 12 seconds. Because really, there are only so many times you can read “breaking news” before your hands start shaking.
2. Grab Some Friends (But Make Sure They’re “Safe”)
The general vibe is: go for the friends who aren’t going to spiral into Election Day panic with you. Find the friends who won’t ask, “Can you believe this?” every two minutes. In other words, supportive pals only.
3. THC, If That’s Your Thing
Let’s not understate the role THC is playing in Election Day 2024. As one voter put it, a little THC can go a long way. It’s basically a reminder that America has come full circle since Prohibition, and we now live in a world where you can legally relax during a heated election. Just, uh, make sure you’re coherent enough to remember where you put the remote.
4. Take on a New Hobby – Golf or Otherwise
And lastly, if golf isn’t your thing, find something that is. Maybe it’s yoga, cooking, or catching up on your favorite binge-worthy show. It doesn’t matter as long as it keeps you out of the election vortex.
Election Day is here, folks, and America’s coping mechanisms have never been more diverse. Whether it’s THC, golf, a roast in the oven, or a strict “no news” policy, the methods people are turning to are as varied as the electorate itself. As you prepare for your own Election Day, remember the real lesson here: There’s no right way to handle democracy in action. Just make sure you’ve got something good on hand – be it friends, a roast, or, yes, a little THC – to get you through.